I think of reasons why relationship needs to end up hurtfully? If things not meant to be fixed, why can't two people just sit down talk and end everything well with encouraging words rather than saying something that would crash both parties. It is deliberately not helpful on means of moving forward.
Think of the best reason why you have to save the relationship. If that reason is worth a second try, grab it. If it's no then it has to STOP.
Lately, I've been buggling when my Ex called and asked me for some quiet talk. I was hesitant at first if I'll answer the call. We've been apart for around 4 years. We drop eachother messages when there is special occasion but aside from that I heard nothing from him. And now he is calling? For what reason? On my confusion after how may missed calls I decided to answer. The awkward feeling was there. I don't know exactly what to utter. It was mixed of emotions. I wanted to cry when he told me things I never imagine I would hear from him. Words I waited from him to say 3 years ago. Plans he created in his mind without even consulting. Plans he made I think only for himself. It's not mutual. Never mutual. God knows I tried my very best not to utter harsh words. He says every detail he wants. I listen. But it seems like I hear nothing. I was in dismay. I bit my lips. I rub my hand. I close my eyes. I hold my heart. Nothing left I felt for him. No special beating.
Then I realize everything needs timing. Things and words needs Timing. And now is not the right time. It's too late. I moved on. I let go. I made new plans. And I'm happy about it. Letting go was a tough decision. battling to a memory I treasure for years was never easy. I waited. I got tired. People come, People go. I've dated once or twice after him. And now I'm with someone I could say I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I see God in different perspective. I pray and there I ended everything with Goodbye.
I couldn’t barely recall those times when I think of play. A day where it is filled with extraordinary bonding time with friends. A night wherein I just have 10 minutes to prepare for a bar hopping, settled in a bottle of beer with the beat of loud music and people just dancing till dawn. A morning hangover. I managed my time with work and andventures. I munch in couple of restaurants in a day. I live within my reach. I stumble and fall. I crave and I eat. Sleeping on long hours.
That was me before I realized that life isn’t just about having fun. I have to make extra extra extra effort to do things for a living. I never imagine life would be just eat-sleep-work. A process where in adjustment should be made, thoughts should be put into place and prepare for an everyday encounter of risk, changes and diversities of events.
Work, duties, responsibilities are given to us adults to mold and make us ready to whatever challenges that might come our way. For that. Challenge accepted!
I was sitting here just tired from an 8 hours shift thinking its been 2 months since my last update and it’s seems like for years.
Nothing much to say except of some changes in my environment and the unusual crazy feeling of home sickness. I haven’t cried since the day I left my home town. I haven’t even opened up to anyone how I feel on my first day in a strange place where in I decided to spend the 2 years of my life with people I merely know. Those people who will guide and teach me how to live and survive in a place where culture is distinct from mine.
I always think I could barely adjust and I think twice, Now I belong.
I’m about to cook for dinner but there is something inside me that I wanted to vent out, I can’t explain what I feel right now all I know it I feel awful.
I had a fight with Mikhale, my 9 years old son. We always had arguments of simple things that is mend with hugs and kisses but this time I feel like I wanted to shout my heart out and cry. This is worst than any other arguments we had. He is just 9 years old how come he speaks like 25? 25 because those words he say I learnt when I was 25. Imagine twice his age? I don’t want to blame it on social media, I blame it more on myself. Thinking if I am too lax.
I lock myself on my room trying to think, cool down and find the right words to explain to him the importance of respect to someone older than him, to people of authority and everyone he meets on his journey.
I end out closing my eyes and putting my hands together.
I pray to him that he would guide me to be a good mom to my child. That despite the hurt we both feel he would heal it and change it with pure love and respect. I ask for your forgiveness Lord if I act in ways that I shouldnt supposed to react and says words that hurts others.
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
My mind is having trouble lately, thinking I still have ample time to study before an exam. I can’t sit still and read a med-surg book neither answer some of my prepared test questions. huh.
The moment I have to write a note its like I’m having amnesia of what to jot down. A selective amnesia is not what I need right at this very moment. It makes me sick. What can I do? I’m not in the mood for some bonding with my nursing books.
I believe that studying takes time. It is scheduled based on your willingness to learn. It takes motivation sometimes inspiration, if you want to pass never cram. Value your time by alternating play with studying. Prioritize.
Posted from WordPress for Android