This is what I wanted to say, but never had the courage to tell you. This is what I wanted to ask, but I was just too afraid to know the truth. This is what I felt, but I know you– of all the people, wouldn’t care.
Ours wasn’t the most exciting of love stories, because we met in the most unexciting way; through chat and text. It was summer and as summer loves come and go; you came into my life showering the darkest corners of it with the brightest of lights. That’s how I felt when I was with you; I felt safe, loved and even a little high.
You knew, I loved writing because for me, writing is closer to thinking and for more than a year now, I have been drowning in my thoughts. But, recently, you have once again starred in my mind. I keep on blocking out all the memories of you and me, but I guess, I can never really forget you. I can only remember the most opulent days of both of our lives together.
What you don’t know is that I really, really– seriously, loved you. I had this illusion that you were the one, star-crossed love of my life. Can you believe that? I guess, I can’t. I was never really that one person to fall in love that way. But, you were different. Ours was a love story waiting to break apart. I knew that from the start, but I chose to believe that no matter what happens, you loving me and I loving you was enough.
I still clearly remember the day when you told me that you were breaking up with me. It was a days after that trial and error kind of relationship that we both agreed. I was the one to call you and decided to clear things up then you just told me that no label would be better for the both of us. You either have the feeling of you didn’t and I guess, you felt that you don’t love me anymore and I’m thinking that your just pressured of a lot of stuffs, so I agreed right away without letting you explain the reason why neither me asking for some rationale.
I am still so confused on why you broke up with me. Is it the distance? Or did you find someone better there? I need answers and I’m afraid to know the truth. I don’t want to live a life filled with insecurities and fears. Whatever your reasons are I’m ready to accept it. In fact since the relationship has ended I accepted it. I need answers. I want closure. I need closure.
Rhema ツ WordPress via BlackBerry.